Friday, 30 September 2011

Coping with a Breakup or Divorce - Moving on after a relationship ends

END is not the end. In fact END is 'Effort Never Dies'. And if u ever get a NO in answer, that means 'Next Opportunity'.

I stumbled upon this article, which has been in my possession for quite sometime.. Good reading..


It’s never easy when a marriage or other significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether or not you wanted it – the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of a divorce or breakup, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.

Learning important lessons from a divorce or breakup..

In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to grow and learn. Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. Consider this period a time-out, a time for sowing the seeds for new growth. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger.

In order to fully accept a breakup and move on, you need to understand what happened and acknowledging the part you played. It’s important to understand how the choices you made affected the relationship. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them.

Some questions to ask yourself:

Step back and look at the big picture. How did you contribute to the problems of the relationship?

Do you tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose the wrong person in relationship after relationship?

Think about how you react stress and deal with conflict and insecurities. Could you act in a more constructive way?

Consider whether or not you accept other people the way they are, not the way they could or “should” be.

Examine your negative feelings as a starting point for change. Are you in control of your feelings, or are they in control of you?

You’ll need to be honest with yourself during this part of the healing process. Try not to dwell on who is to blame or beat yourself up over your mistakes. As you look back on the relationship, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. If you are able to objectively examine your own choices and behavior, including the reasons why you chose your former partner, you’ll be able to see where you went wrong and make better choices next time.


Psst.. For full article, please visit http://helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm
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Acknowledging your mistakes isn't bad at all.. Provided you learn something from your mistakes and improve yourself.. If God permits, you'll be surprised how you can suddenly save your relationship just in time before the road is about to come to its end... Depends on the cause you fight.. If you are fighting for your rights (legally, ethically-halalan thayyiban-speaking ;)), انشـــــاء الله God will help you.. tapi kalau setakat nak berebut laki orang ke sampai nak 'penaya' anak bini orang tu... الله pun tauuuuu.. Wallahua'lam... May الله protect all those around me from such misfortune... Amin..

Sunday, 25 September 2011

C.H.A.L.L.E.N.G.E

I love my Sunday breakfast.... hefty food on the table... companionship... perfected by the presence of great dessert my sister brought back from Prague.... the Marlenka Cacao Honey Cake...




If you are planning to go to Prague, I suggest that you bring back this one.. Worth it! You can browse its website.. http://www.marlenka.cz/ for more info.

Last time she brought back the Classic Honey Cake when she went to Vienna for a conference.. I love the Classic Honey Cake.. but the cacao one is not bad at all too..

A bit about work, Hurun Ain Oasis Muslimah Spa & Salon is on a roadshow.. We participate in the UKM Convo. Festival 2011... We were there since 21 Sept. 2011 to set up our booth.. Well.. To cut things short, let's just say that things do not turn so good this time.. The crowd is... Well, it shouldn't be called a crowd at all... Yes I am a bit disappointed but that's business.. It's just that I really hope the organizer is responsible for everythg..

This is a newspaper cutting from a local tabloid on Saturday..


Frustrating, huh? Siapa yang jadi mangsa? All the traders, of course... اَلْحَمْدُلِلّهِ.. Redha jelah...

As for today, I finally have the opportunity to attend some open house invitations.. Bloated with good food.. Balik nanti, kain baju dah tunggu berbakul-bakul so better eat a lot! LOL!

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Perhentian Island - Day 3

Woke up.. Packing.. Woke the kids up.. Sang happy birthday to Nayla.. She's 4 years old today.. Called my FIL.. It is his birthday as well..

Breakfast.. Swimming again.. Went to take some photos of the fish at the jetty..


Then, all of a sudden we felt reluctant to get ready to leave Bubu Long Beach... Wish this vacation would never end...










We got on the 12pm boat... So sad to leave the place..



We went to Pasar Besar Kedai Payang, Kuala Terengganu.. lotsa things there but I wasn't up for any shopping..


Bought some keropok though for mom and MIL..


Then had late lunch (merangkap dinner) @ Paradise Deluxe, Jalan Pasir Panjang, K.T.. Nice tomyam seafood restaurant in town.. Comfy, clean..




Continued our journey back to K.L. Reached home almost 1a.m.. اَلْحَمْدُلِلّهِ

Perhentian Island - Day 2

Rise and shine peeps.. Food from the resort's buffet line was tasty.. Choices were limited and mostly are western.. Ada lah satu dish je ada mee goreng..



Deep sea snorkeling trip.. To the coral sea garden, sharks point and turtle bay... Nayla was a bit scared sampai kena melekat kat mummy..


Corals.. Kelabu jer semua.. Getting worse.. And saw no sharks.. Ada turtle tapi laju sangat la.. Anyway, nura got her hand burn coz she accidentally brushed her hands on the boat.. Poor thing..

The girl at the reception counter applied some antiseptic.. We clean up.. Had lunch and we slept till around 4 I guess.. Everybody was tired..

Kids went swimming again.. Us.. Just relaxing (while monitoring them).. Reading our favourite magazines and enjoying our mocktails..


Tinggi-tinggi and Fruit Punch

Later, we went 'jungle trekking' to see the sunset @ Coral Bay.. Showed the kids Senja Bay Resort, where we used to stay in 2008.. Anyway, we noticed lotsa construction in the woods.. More resorts coming up.. And lotsa rubbish on the beach.. Nura was complaining about the pollution and how crowded the island is.. Smart girl she is..
 Coral Bay..


sunset

Went back to long beach.. Nura was pretty scared of the darks.. She almost cried.. Lucky we brought torch lights.. She was relieved to hear the music from one of the cafes along the long beach..

Clean ourselves and had dinner at Bubu's Santai Restaurant.. Isham had nasi goreng kampung and I had green fettucini with smoked salmon.. And some milkshake.. We retired quite late..

Tips: you can get a snorkeling package from any service providers along the long beach for only RM40 per pax. The guide will bring you to 6 deep sea snorkeling points: coral sea garden, sharks point, turtle bay, lunch @ fishermen village, light house, romantic beach... There's one service provider in Coral Bay charges only RM30 per pax for the same itinerary! When bringing kids, you might want to consider shorter trip.. To avoid them being restless.. Pack a lot of snacks and drinks.. Bring some beach towels along coz it will be very cold when you get back on the boat (and windy when the boat is moving!)..

Monday, 19 September 2011

Perhentian Island - Day 1

We depart for Perhentian late last night.. Biasalah banyak sgt nak bawak.. 1st island trip for the kids so have to make sure that they'll feel comfortable kat sana..

Never fancy the Gua Musang route, so we decided to use the coastal road via Cherating.. But the GPS has suggested alternative route via Kuala Berang..

Reach Jeti Kuala Besut lebih kurang 8.30 a.m. Park our car.. Change the kids clothes and registered at the Bubu Long Beach Resort office..



Had very nice breakfast at the stall on your right (if you are standing facing the jetty).. The nearest stall to the jetty.. I had nasi putih, daging kunyit and masak lemak telur itik and timun siam... Tengok daging kunyit yang paling sikit so I assumed it taste nice la.. Well, I was wrong.. It taste SUPERB!.. Others had roti canai.. Nura later ordered nasi and telur mata kerbau coz she didn't like the roti canai there..


We were lucky because we managed to get on the 10.10 a.m boat to Pulau Perhentian.




The journey took about 30 minutes and the water was nice.. اَلْحَمْدُلِلّهِ..

us... at the long beach jetty...

So, this is Bubu Long Beach Resort, Perhentian Island..


We were welcome with refreshing pineapple and cranberry juice (which my kids didn't fancy at all).. Later the briefing session on our package itinerary for the whole duration..


I went checking out their front area - the restaurants, massage huts, rooms etc..


the kids have 'made themselves at home' by going straight to the beach..

We were not given the keys to our room yet at that time since the standard check-in time is 2pm.. Thank God our rooms were ready by 12 noon...




We didn't opt for the the standard meal plan since our kids are picky eaters.. Besides, it should easy to get food along long beach..

3 p.m - snorkeling at house reef area.. Both isham and me were annoyed that our kids became too clingy and insisted that we bring them back to the beach... I let hubby continue his snorkeling while I watched the kids (at the beach).. Can't blame them.. It's their first time..


Anyway, we really need to think of something for tomorrow as we really wanted to do the deep sea snorkeling..

We had dinner along the Long Beach cafes as I wanted to have that Snickers Milk Shake Muna used to recommend to me before I went for my 1st Perhentian trip in 2008.. Fell in love since I tasted it the first time back then..


unfortunately... my taste bud has somehow changes... btw, the above picture is the m&m shake... i don't think i would put the shake as my priority if i come here again in the future... hmmmm..


I ordered the butter prawn with white rice..  To my surprise, my butter prawn looked like this.. More like prawn sauteed in butter.. Kenapa tak sama macam mama buat, ni?








And this is hubby's nasi goreng USA yg biasa-biasa saja..









We took a stroll at the beach after dinner.. Intai2 other chalets and eateries yang 'happening' along the long beach..


Hubby and I had our moment alone.. enjoying our coffee at Bubu while letting the girls play with the sand again before we called the day off...

Tips for traveling with kids to islands: things to bring other than normal suitcase contents - swimsuits, floaters (for kids), sunblock, drinking water, food and snacks (we brought bread, spread, instant noodle and lotsa biscuits), insect repellent (Bubu got no mosquitoes), vapor rubs and medications (if necessary), hats, sunglasses, beach towels, goggles, plastic bags (to fill up wet clothes), some string (to make your own clothes hanging lines), scissors and many more.. Toys/books to keep your kids occupied in the room.. We find it difficult to travel light if you bring your kids.. Make a checklist beforehand.. among the resorts which are kids friendly are Bubu Long Beach Resort (Perhentian Kecil), Shari-La Chalet (Perhentian Kecil), Perhentian Island Resort (Perhentian Besar), Arwana Perhentian Resort & Beach Chalet (Perhentian Besar) and many more..

Monday Outing with Hubby Yan

He's on leave so we decided to go out on a date.. and we had lunch at our favourite Japanese restaurant... Sushi Zanmai... good food at affordable price..



my favourite Chicken Gyoza (yeah.. this 'chicken dumplings' have a name)

psst: i'll post about our Perhentian trip later..